My professor said my short story is didn't change from my first draft

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My professor said my short story is didn't change from my first draft. He want me to develop my story and change most of it. please make my story change more, and you can add anything like plots. also, please help my grammar. The most important thing is my story looks changed almost like rewrite. 

Third Darft Module 12: Weekly writing exercise In the small town, a cold west wind is accompanying by flurries of snow and the sun is not risen yet. The young woman named Qiao carry a full and brand-new backpack standing in the bus station waiting for the first bus to the airport. It is first time she takes a plane and leave her hometown. Qiao is afraid of missing the fight because the flight ticket almost cost her half year savings. Qiao gets on the flight with a group of young people going to Shanghai to prospect a job and money. People are excited about their future, laughing and taking on the way, including Qiao. The new trip will be a start in her life, and she is going to achieve her dream in Shanghai, a place full of challenges and opportunities. In Shanghai, the breeze is blowing gently, and the drizzle is floating down from the sky. The sunlight glared, but all the tall buildings and skyscrapers covered half of the sky, and people are walking fast on the street. Everything seem to be changed after six hours flight. The prosperous city scene gives Qiao a blow. She feels she is minor and incompetent in this city; she is panic and indecision. Qiao is standing and staring blankly. Five minutes later, her mind comes back. She is walking along hurriedly and holding the 500 yuan tightly in her hand; it is all the money she has. Everything in this city is extravagance for this young countrywoman, so she keeps comparing the prices. She realizes all the 500 yuan can only support her living in Shanghai for several days, and she have to find a job immediately. As evening approaching, people are sitting in the restaurant and eating with their family or friend, and they are sharing their food and happiness. The sky is getting daker, and the restaurant are brilliantly lit up. The loneliness surround Qiao, and she can’t escape from it anyway. Her face was careworn with anxiety, like most young people in Shanghai. A homeless dog walking on the street slowly and passing by poor Qiao; he looks lost and lonely. Qiao sort through her backpack and trying to find some food for this little poor dog. Finally, she finds a bread in the bottom of the bag. It is squashed and dry, but it still a fill the belly. The thin dog eats the whole bread and shake his dirty tail to Qiao. Qiao smile. The dog is the first friend Qiao made in this cold strange city. They are different and same kind of lonely in this city. Qiao sitting with the little dog for a while. The night is getting colder, and the dog shivering and burrowing against her back for warmth. Qiao have to leave for her life and hungry stomach. She having a hard time to leaving the little poor thing, but she have no other choice. A small family restaurant on the corner of the street. It is dim and cool and quiet but gives Qiao a sense of security. There is only an old lady named Yan in the restaurant. She is the restaurant owner, kind and tender. The restaurant and Qiao are similar at the moment because no one noticed them in the city. Qiao orders a chicken with rice and eats it greedily. She is starving and exhausted, and a simple warm food gives her comfort and encouragement. At the same time, Yan cares for the unknown young women silently because she knows the hardness of those young outsiders who have just come to Shanghai like forty years ago, she just arrived here. Yan gives more chicken meat and rice without telling. She just wants this young woman can satiate. Qiao asks every shop and restaurant one by one, but no one wants a new come woman without formal qualifications. The late-night in Shanghai is still busy; taxis are running on the street, and some people are walking through the building. Qiao is standing on the street and staring sky. The city lights are shinning too much, and she cannot see any stars in the sky. She always went to the backyard and lay on the grass. All the stars are shining in the sky in her hometown. Qiao is covered by all the people who lived in Shanghai, just like the stars covered by the bright city lights. She starts thinking maybe she does not belong here. The cold wind blew through the cold city, and Qiao sits shivering in the corner, helpless and hopeless. “What am I here for?” Qiao questions herself. She is like the dog she met last night but no one helps her. The next day dawned cloudless and fair, Qiao dropping asleep. The sunrise gives her a little bit of warmth and a glimmer of comfort. She is looking at the busy city with tired eyes, and the hesitation and confusion inhabit his mind. She feels like she is the only one who lives in the darkness. Qiao is walking to the restaurant again, and she orders the same food and sitting in the same seat as yesterday. She is staring at the food, and her tears can’t stop. She starts missing her small hometown, friends, and family. It is just her first day in Shanghai; everything looks against her. “What happened? kid.” The voice is gentle and soft; it sounds like her mother. Qiao looks up with a puzzled frown and misty eyes on her face. The old lady Yan, the owner of the restaurant, bend over and look at her concerned. “I just came here yesterday, and I can’t find a job. No one needs me.” Qiao said with a faint crying voice. “If you don’t mind my little crude restaurant, you temporarily can stay here until you find a real job.” Yan thinks for a moment and says. Qiao is pleasantly surprised by what the old lady said, and it is like hope for this helpless young woman. Yan offers a job to support Qiao living in Shanghai. Qiao is working and learning hard because she appreciates the chance that the old lady gave to her. The Chinese New Year is coming soon, and the weather is getting cold. People are wearing a scarf and heavy coat, including Qiao. The trees are decorated with red lanterns on both sides of the street, and the doors and windows are decorated with red papercuts and couplets with the blessings of thriving. The whole city is making up of red color, and people’s faces alight with happiness. Lonely people are lonelier in the festival, especially the New Year celebration, which is the day for a family reunion. Qiao breathed on his hands to warm them up and walk straight to the New Year decoration shop. Two little red lanterns are enough for her to pretend she is not the lonely one. On the morning of the first day of New Year, she raises the red lanterns on the restaurant door. She eats dumplings with Yan, and they are “family” on this special day. In this cold city, Qiao and Yan rely on and trust each other right now and get through all the difficulties together in their lives. Qiao is sitting behind the window looking at the plane trees out of the store, and the leaves gradually turn yellow and fall. The season changes fast, and Qiao has been in Shanghai for a long time. Now she is used to living in this modern city, and she is no longer the depressive and helpless young woman. On a dazzling sunny day, she is walking on the street of downtown Shanghai. She is walking fast, just like the people on the street, and she is brave and confident. She still remembers the first day; she keeps walking fast in Shanghai, and she was pretending to be the same as others. Now she is one of them. Time goes fast, and Yan is getting older, and she is starting to forget some little things in her life. Sometimes she can’t find her presbyopia glasses, and sometimes she cooked food without salt. Fewer and fewer people come to her restaurant, and almost no one patronizes right now. Yan always said that she doesn’t like reminiscing because it makes her feel old, but she starts talking about things when she was young. She realizes she is old enough to retire. The newly built buildings are growing taller, and all the new and tall buildings block the small and old restaurant. People all know the restaurant has a long history, but the name is never remembered. Yan and Qiao are sitting together under the dim light silently. The summer wind has warmly blown, and the cicadas are singing loudly. Yan didn’t say anything, but Qiao knows the restaurant is going to close someday recently. A week later, Yan closes the restaurant that company with her for forty years. She parted with reluctance to the restaurant and all the effort for forty years and the important women Qiao. “Goodbye.” Qiao said to the restaurant and Shanghai. Qiao put on her yellowed backpack and waiting for the one-way bus to her hometown. The rain began to fall, and the wind is gentle. The weather just like the first day she came to this city. Then she takes the bus and leaves. She doesn’t leave anything in this city, and it is like she has never been here. Qiao belongs to a small town with all starts in the sky.