The Everyday Writer states that "An effective paragraph develops its main idea by providing enough details

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The Everyday Writer states that "An effective paragraph develops its main idea by providing enough details...without such development, a paragraph may seem lifeless and abstract" (53). TEW goes on to discuss underdeveloped paragraphs and says "[an underdeveloped] paragraph is boring...it fails to gain our interest or hold our attention because it lacks any specific examples or details" (53). On the other hand, a developed paragraph "comes to life...by bringing in specific details from life, including images that show readers what the paragraph describes. We want to read [a developed] paragraph because it appeals to our senses and curiosity" (TEW 54). Taking this into consideration, read the following paragraphs, one of which is underdeveloped while the other is fully developed, then comment on which paragraph is stronger. In your response, you'll want to address the following questions:

1. Which of the two paragraphs is the strongest and why?
2. What makes the paragraph you chose stronger? You may choose to discuss rhetorical devices used by the writer or other effective techniques that you noticed being used.
3. Which details from the stronger paragraph appealed to your "senses and curiosity"? Explain.
4. Respond to one other student post by offering praise, asking a question, agreeing/politely disagreeing with their point of view, or pointing out something helpful in their remarks.

Paragraph 1:

Language can be extension to one’s individual identity. “I am my language.” (Anzaldua, p.39) Meaning that Anzaldua feels that she is her own language. The point that I’m trying to get at is if anyone feels they identify themselves with a language then what’s to stop them for being a part of that language. That’s why language shouldn’t belong to anyone that created it. If others feel they can be a part of that then it’s fine. Furthermore, a personal experience I have is people I know use language from different cultures. Specifically, Anime. They use some Japanese words instead of English. Like the word ‘What’ for example they use ‘Nani’ instead. Obviously, they’re not biologically Japanese but since they feel like they belong to the culture then it’s okay for them. They don’t disrespect it.They acknowledge where the words originally came from. Furthermore, people should learn where the language originally started if they want to use it and identify themselves with it.

Paragraph 2: 

Gloria Anzaldua, author of “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” cleverly made sure that her novel title made a statement. Her title not only intrigues audiences but also, by associating terminology like “tame” and “wild” with the word “tongue”, causes readers to imagine the “tongue” as something savage like that must be trained in order to conform to what seems as acceptable. From the very beginning of her novel, Anzaldu?a converts her personal experiences into metaphors, as means for readers to understand the concept of someone having to “tame their tongue” is torture. She wanted readers to understand that oppressing someone because of their language is a violent act. Anzaldua uses terminology such as “control”, “draining”, “train”, “anger” while recounting on an experience at the dentists where her tongue seemed to be too wild. She included some of the dentists' dialogue in her story to give readers an image of the anger and disapproval towards her tongue, “we are going to have to do something about your tongue” (pg.33). By including such dialogue, we can draw that her voice is being looked down upon. In the reading, she mentally notes “the dentist is cleaning out my roots” this points to something larger than dialogue; it connects her way of speaking to her identity. She is pointing out that when one's voice is “tamed” their identity is being taken away. Anzaldua’s countless experiences where society, her family, her schools show disapproval towards her tongue bring back to the main idea that her voice along with other Chicanos is being constantly bashed and, in a way, this is a violation of their identity. Readers can be affected by these metaphors because they all have a personal identity and background. When their language is taken away, they are not able to communicate with others in their genuine form of expression. These metaphors serve to make people understand that valuing their language above all is essential.

You can number your answers to these questions or you can answer them in one structured paragraph. Since this is a discussion post, it is fine to write in a conversational tone. When responding to your classmates, be sure to comment on anything you noticed which was helpful.