question archive Question no 3) The letter below does not follow the 7Cs

Question no 3) The letter below does not follow the 7Cs

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Question no 3) The letter below does not follow the 7Cs. Identify what is wrong after reading the following questions.

1. Is the opening statement clear? If not, how would you change it so that it is clear?

2. Is the information complete? If not, what is missing?

3. Are the sentences concise? If not, what words would you eliminate to make them more 

   concise?

4. Is the message courteous? If not, which sentence would you change?

5. Is the letter correct (free of grammar, punctuation and spelling errors)? If not, what needs

   to be corrected?

Rewrite the letter so that it is clear and concise, proper done and correct. You are also required to incorporate the standard elements of a business letter. Assume information where necessary.

Dear Zeeshan,

I have gone through the letter sent by your office last week. Please be advised that our company can accept the offer to which the letter refers because it would be benefcial for our company in several ways. Infact, we have been looking for such innovative programmes for our junior executives for a long time but no trainning and consultancy company came forward with such a proposal. You are the first to send us this interesting proposal.

I have gone through the structure of the workshop and find it exhaustive and appropriate. However, the workshop may not be effective unless it includes some project work relating to some important areas of software quality assurance. Moreover, our company may not be able to upgrade the knowledge level in this regard on a continuous basis unless project work is included.

There is no doubt that you have working hard to design the structure of the programme so that it is suited to our needs. Nevertheless, we would not be able to take any action unless we receive your final proposall. Sent this positively by the end of November, 2020.    

Assessment Rubric:

a. Content/Ideas/Relevance: 02

b. Organizational Strategy (Direct/Indirect/AIDA model): 01

c. Format: 01

d. Language (Cohesion, Coherence & Accuracy): 01

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Dear Zeeshan,

 

I have been able to go through your business proposal keenly with my mind, set on being of assistance to you. I want to inform you that our company can accept the offer to which the letter refers because it would be beneficial for our company in several ways. In fact, we have been looking for such innovative programs for our junior executives for a long time, but no training and consultancy company came forward with such a proposal. You are the first to send us this interesting proposal.

 

I have gone through the workshop structure, and I have to commend you as I have found it not only appropriate but exhaustive. My only query is that I want the workshop to include some project work relating to some important software quality assurance areas since our company may not continuously upgrade the knowledge level in this regard unless project work is included.

 

There is no doubt that you have worked hard to design the program's structure so that it is suited to our needs. That is why we urge you to send the final proposal by the end of November 2020 to analyze it and send you our feedback fully.  

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