In the context of Managing Performance, why is providing negative feedback stressful and emotionally fraught for people managers? In your response, consider tips for an effective feedback review process.

Answer:

One of the toughest things you have to do as a manager is to give employee feedback, especially the negative kind. In fact, so many managers avoid giving feedback altogether because it is such a stressful and emotionally fraught experience. When feedback is tied to someone's livelihood, emotions are bound to run high.

Giving negative feedback, implies that you're wading into an extremely sensitive territory. You don't want to demotivate an employee or make them think you are out to get them. You don't want the feedback to backfire.

Really, can criticism ever be constructive? Let's admit it, no one likes to be told they are doing a less-than-perfect job. It's not easy to hear about our shortcomings. Even the best of us have suffered the self-doubt, defensiveness and insecurity that often follows feedback.

Yet, feedback is the backbone of management. Honest, thoughtful feedback is an important and valuable tool for building not only a good team, but a good business.

1. Avoid giving unsolicited advice

Only a third of people believe the feedback they receive is helpful. That's because more often than not, it's unsolicited, which can create an immense amount of stress for the person receiving it.

2. Be specific

Employee feedback should be solutions oriented, crystal clear, and to the point. If your intention is to offer corrective feedback, general comments, like "Your work needs to be improved" or "I wasn't very impressed with those reports. You have to do better than that" can leave your employee confused and in the dark as to what aspect of their work needs to be corrected.

3.Come with a deep level of empathy

"Delivering feedback that exposes a wide gap in self-knowledge demands an extra measure of sensitivity. Like ripping off a scab, the sting of discovering such a profound gap often elicits strong emotions that can easily be confused as defensiveness. If you're someone who bores the brunt of your colleague's difficult behavior, be sure you can set those frustrations aside in favor of the empathy you'll need for this conversation.

4.Don't wait for a quarterly review

Employee feedback immediately following an event has the greatest impact on performance. And engagement peaks when employees receive feedback on a weekly cadence. If issues are left unaddressed, they may multiply by a domino effect. So by the time the quarterly performance review comes around, you'll be confronted with a host of issues that could have been avoided if mentioned earlier.

5. Keep it private

Don't criticize publicly—ever.

For some, even praise is better delivered in a private meeting. Some people simply don't like being the center of attention. You can also consider offering employee feedback in the form of a written response. This can give you time to reflect and offer a more thoughtful answer.

6. Don't take the "sandwich approach"

Helping someone improve should always be the goal of feedback, but sandwiching corrective feedback between two pieces of positive feedback won't soften the blow. This method creates confusion for the receiver, undermines your feedback, and can decrease levels of trust.

7. Make the conversation a two-way street

Lecturing someone on how they should improve is about as effective as talking to a brick wall. Don't forget the important element of respect when discussing vulnerable topics, and certainly don't talk at someone when it's far more effective to open up the conversation and talk with them.

8. Focus on performance, not personality

Focus on an employee's behaviors (what they do) rather than on their personality traits (what they're like). Consider these two examples from "The Secret to Giving Constructive Criticism" and think about what type of feedback you would like to receive.