Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 1 / 8 Paper Title: No

Subject:WritingPrice:18.89 Bought3

Share With

Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 1 / 8 Paper Title: No. of Pages: 6 Paper Style: MLA Paper Type: Exploratory Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? Yes Feedback Areas: Topic Development, Focus/Thesis Statement Paper Goals: How does society approach feminism and gender issues? Review Summary: Hi Darong, My name is Maria, and I really enjoyed reading your essay. Strengths: You did a really good job of utilizing specific examples as evidentiary information to support your claims in this essay; this enabled you to write authoritatively about this topic. You also did a really good job of employing authoritative outside sources to support your claims in this essay. Additionally, you did a good job of employing a formal tone and correct grammar in this essay, and this allowed you to communicate your ideas professionally. Good work in this essay! Areas for Improvement: There were some issues regarding the organization and focus of this essay. For example, you should utilize the topic sentence of each body paragraph to propose a secondary argument that explicitly supports the primary argument contained in the thesis. Additionally, you should utilize the first sentence of the concluding paragraph to restate your thesis as this will enable you to reemphasize your primary argument at the end of your essay before utilizing the remainder of the conclusion to consolidate the information presented in the body paragraphs and to bring your essay to an effective close. You should also consider separating your longer paragraphs into several shorter paragraphs, with each shorter paragraph serving to examine a different element of the topic presented in the longer paragraph. Analyzing interrelated, yet unidentical, elements of your topic in separate paragraphs will improve the organization of your essay, in addition to making each individual paragraph more comprehensible and digestible for the reader. Doing each of these things will enable you to significantly improve the organization and focus of this essay. You can also return to the Paper Center for additional reviews of your work. As always, feel free to join a Live Tutoring session for immediate feedback, including for any questions that you may have regarding the review of this paper. Thanks for using NetTutor, and keep up the good work! Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 2 / 8 This is too long for an introductory paragraph. The purpose of the introduction is to contextualize your topic and to provide the reader with relevant background information. You should not begin to introduce evidentiary information in support of your claims until the first body paragraph Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 3 / 8 This is a very strong thesis. Good work! you should utilize the topic sentence of each body paragraph to directly address and support a different specific element of your thesis. In other words, you should utilize the topic sentence of each body paragraph to propose a secondary argument that explicitly supports the primary argument contained in the thesis. Doing this will enable you to reemphasize your primary argument more consistently throughout your essay, and this will improve the overall organization and focus of your essay. Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 4 / 8 This paragraph is a little long, and it covers multiple interrelated topics. You should consider separating this longer paragraph into several shorter paragraphs, with each shorter paragraph serving to examine a different element of the topic presented in the longer paragraph. Analyzing interrelated, yet unidentical, elements of your topic in separate paragraphs will improve the organization of your essay, in addition to making each individual paragraph more comprehensible and digestible for the rea Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 5 / 8 Again, this paragraph is a little long, and it covers multiple interrelated topics. You should consider separating this longer paragraph into several shorter paragraphs, with each shorter paragraph serving to examine a different element of the topic presented in the longer paragraph. Analyzing interrelated, yet unidentical, elements of your topic in separate paragraphs will improve the organization of your essay, in addition to making each individual paragraph more comprehensible and digestible for the reader. Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 6 / 8 Again, you should utilize the topic sentence of each body paragraph to directly address and support a different specific element of your thesis. In other words, you should utilize the topic sentence of each body paragraph to propose a secondary argument that explicitly supports the primar argument contained in the thesis. Doing this will enable you to reemphasize your primary argument more consistently throughout you essay, and this will improve the overall organization and focus of your essay. Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 7 / 8 You should utilize the first sentence of the concluding paragraph to restate your thesis as this will enable you to reemphasize your primary argument at the end of your essay before utilizing the remainder of the conclusion to consolidate the information presented in the body paragraphs and to bring your essay to an effective close. Reviewed Paper: ntp1226163 - Tue May 11 21:35:06 EDT 2021 page 8 / 8 You need to utilize a hanging indent on your works cited page. Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)